Monday, August 10, 2009


We recently had an intruder in our house.

A criminal.

An absolutely deplorable man with nothing but evil intentions.

At first, he was not noticed or marked for the man he was. Eventually, though, his presence was too overbearing to pretend not to notice. He was bigger and brighter than the pink elephant in the room that we all so often fail to see. I know some people say we ignore this elephant, but I think sometimes we don't even see him. I wonder which is better?

Anyway, back to the story.

InvisiTrav had joined us.

*Now I should stop you right here and let you know that the end of this post will not make sense unless you have already read Rachael's Post, Nursing Under Cover, as well as my post, I Used To Hate Camping. So, if you have not read them, I encourage you to do so now. Failing to do so will cause you to get to the end of this post and be seen scratching your head. Don't say you were not warned.*

Fortunately, Rachael and I are true soulmates. Now, contrary to popular belief, that does not necessarily mean that you will never argue or fight. It does mean that even while you argue and fight your love never wavers, never falters, is never doubted. Soulmates truly are united in a way that transcends rational explanation.

One of the things I am most thankful for is that God allowed me to marry my soulmate.

Unfortunately for Rachael, my evil twin brother sometimes joins me in our arguments. When I thought about writing this blog post, I decided that my evil twin brother needed a name.

InvisiTrav was born.

After spending many, many years together as a married couple, and especially as soulmates, you get to the point where you can almost anticipate what the other is going to say or do. While this can be beneficial at times, it can also cause its share of problems if it goes unchecked.

I know InvisiTrav has entered the room when I see Rachael looking at me like I just really wronged her and I have no idea what I have done.

Now, most of you have never seen The Look that Rachael has when she is not happy, or is feeling slighted or hurt. It is painful to behold. Painful because you worry about what she is thinking and feeling. But even more painful because you know that your days may be numbered.
I had mentioned The Look to Rachael on many an occasion. She never seemed to really believe that it was as bad as I said. So I resorted to doing what any self-respecting husband would do. I took a picture of her in the act. Now, when she gives me The Look, I pull out the picture and show it to her.

She usually screams in fear.

Anyway, when I see this look, I immediately do two things.

1. I reflect upon our most recent conversation(s). Typically, upon reflection, I discover what I said or did that was probably a lot more mean-spirited than it should have been. In this case, my heart breaks for hurting Rachael, I shed a few tears, I apologize, she forgives, we hug and move on. One of the things I am thankful for is Rachael's forgiving heart and her love for me.

2. If I can not find anything I said or did that was mean-spirited, I ask myself if InvisiTrav may have entered the picture. InvisiTrav is an insidious, mean-spirited, destructive personality that tends to get me in a lot of trouble.

An InvisiTrav intrusion becomes apparent when I ask Rachael why she is SO mad at me.

"Well, you think that I'm just......(fill in the blanks)."

I answer, "But hon, I do not think that, and I did not say that."

"I know, but you thought it."

Now, the interesting thing about InvisiTrav's treachery, is that Rachael's responses to his dastardly deeds are just as real as if I had actually been the one responsible for them. Now, to be fair to Rachael, I have to say that she is probably somewhat influenced in her responses based on past times where I sometimes acted more like my evil twin brother than I would likely care to admit. So, while I may not have been mean to her this time, she remembers the last time we were in a similar circumstance and may assume I'm going to do the same thing this time.

As you can probably imagine, InvisiTrav is not a very welcome guy to either of us.

Rachael and I have now decided to band together against InvisiTrav and kick his sorry rear-end out of our marriage. I let him know that I can be plenty inconsiderate and mean without needing his help. He was sorry to go, but eventually seemed to understand.

I apologize if he sometimes breaks into your home and poses as Invisi________. (Fill in your name here.)

Occasionally, though, he likes to trespass into our home again. Most of the time, his visits are short-lived. We simply hold-fast to our 2nd ammendment rights and target-practice on him. On those few occasions that he does sneak past our defenses, I sometimes have to resort to going out to the garage.

And talking to the tent.

And pretending it's InvisiRach.

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