Thursday, September 17, 2009

Babies Out For Blood

In just a second, I'm going to ask you to close your eyes and use your imagination.

I want you to pretend you're back in the 80's.  Or, for those too young to remember, just think of the various 80's horror movies you have seen.

I want you to turn off your light.

I want you to think of a cold, dark night.

Imagine yourself all alone.

You begin to hear something.  You're not sure exactly what it is, but it sounds ominous.  Out of the corner of your eye, you see a shadow move.  When you look, it seems to retreat out of the room, leaving a violent vacuum in its wake.

So, with that as your preamble, sit in the dark and imagine a blood-thirsty baby stalking you as you sit there.

For those with no imagination, I went ahead and added a trailer for Chucky.

I think they made about 47 Chucky films.  Chucky 1-9, Chuckies, Chuck-O-Luck, Bride of Chucky, Son of Chucky, 3rd Cousin-Twice-Removed Of Chucky, Friend-Of-A-Friend Of Chucky, etc, so I know there must be some fans out there somewhere.

Let's just say that Rachael is anything but a fan.

For those of you that regularly read her blog, My Poor Husband, you know that she's doing a series of posts about her pet peeves.  On a similar note, I thought I'd talk about one of her somewhat irrational, sometimes hilarious fears. 

I played a trailer to some movie about a murdering baby with Rachael sitting beside me.  Here is the result:

She is absolutely terrified of baby killers.  Not the abortion doctor kind, but the babies that come and kill you.  While I am sure this must be a frequent part of everyday life for some, I have never yet been subjected to murderous mayhem coming from anyone under the age of 10. 

But that doesn't stop Rachael from being deathly afraid of them.  In fact, when I was trying to watch the 'Chucky' trailer, Rachael went a little crazy in terror.  I took a picture for you to enjoy.  I couldn't even watch the whole trailer, so if it turns out to be anything other than a Chucky trailer, someone be sure to let me know.

Rachael listening to the Chucky Trailer

I thought of this phobia of Rachael's when I was in Target the other day.  I walked by a row of little innocent looking baby dolls. 

But they were not at all innocent.

They were programmed to start talking and cooing and moving their heads and all the other things the manufacturers could think of when you walked by them.  Just so your kids will say they absolutely must have one. 

Anyway, as I walked by them and they all started making their baby noises at once, I couldn't help but think that Rachael would freak out if she walked by this aisle.

Since she could not see it in person, I made sure to take a picture:

And a couple videos:

So, the next time you're settling down for a nice relaxing book to read, or a soothing bath, or just all alone on a cold, dark, stormy night, keep at least one eye on the dolls in your house.  They may mutinize and come after you when you least expect it.  And, if you know Rachael is going to be alone, do me a favor and bring a Chucky doll over to our front door, ring the doorbell, run away, and record the reaction when Rachael opens the door.

I'm pretty sure that would be a great blog post.

So, what about you?  Do you have any irrational fears?  The only one I have is an irrational fear of having my head under water.  While I used to sometimes freak out just from taking a shower, I have now progressed beyond that.  After all, there are too many murdering babies out there to stick your head under the shower-stream.

Someone needs to keep an eye on them.

Feel free to share your own irrational fears in the comments section.

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