Rachael the Replicant and the Blade Runner

I ran across a review of the old film Blade Runner the other day that I think may help explain some things regarding Life With Rachael.

The link is at http://antimisandry.com/films/remains-day-blade-runner-shining-shining-23150.html

"The replicants are not human; but human creations and so perfect that you simply cannot tell them apart. But they’re not allowed to live on Earth. The blade runners are meant to kill any replicants that escape to Earth. .....

There is one laborious way to tell if a replicant is plying them self off as human and that is with a fancy machine that scans all non verbal communication. A blade runner will carry out the test as he asks a series of questions designed to present the suspect with various moral dilemmas. The Voight Kampff test machine then gives readings as to whether the suspect is human or not. The replicants are created as adults and have a 4 year life span, but the ones who escape to Earth want more life. Rachael is different, and doesn’t know she is a replicant; she also has implanted memories convincing her that she had a childhood and actually lived to her current age.  (Emphasis mine)

Now, as any regular reader of my blog, Life With Rachael, can attest, this actually explains a lot.

Rachael the Replicant was created somewhere other than Earth.  While she has done an amazingly remarkable job of fitting in, I think the challenges stem from the following true statements regarding the planet the replicants come from:

1.  There are no cell phones.  The replicants have no need for cell phones, as they don't gain anything by chit-chatting with each other.  It's kind of like the toaster talking to the microwave.  They both make some noise, but nothing much gets communicated.  So, Rachael did not receive cell-phone protocol training.  Which is what has resulted in her losing two cell phones within the past two to four weeks.  It's not her fault.  Darn replicant training!

2.  There are no purses.  Think about it.  What does a woman carry in her purse?  While the entire answer to this question is actually unknown to anyone of the male gender, we can go through the basics.  Cell phone- replicants weren't trained to use them.  Lipstick- replicants don't need them as their lips are created the perfect shade.  That about sums it up.  Having no need for a purse, replicants are not trained regarding the risks of leaving their purse at book stores, on the top of their car, etc.
3.  There are no BBQ's.  Replicants don't really need to eat, so they are not trained to keep the heat below 650 degrees when cooking on a BBQ.

4.  There are no gas stations.  Replicants do not drive.  They take advantage of the latest state-of-the-art teletransporters.  In fact, this has proven to be a major downfall for many a replicant.  They are unable to properly operate their vehicle, which is a major give-away for blade runners to look for.  And those that drive away with gas pumps still attached- Their replicant days are numbered.  Somewhat related is number

5.  There are no cars.  Replicants have not been programmed to de-clutter or clean their vehicles.  Just today, I asked Rachael if she could give me a short ride in her car.  She got that worried look on her perfectly sculpted replicant face.  She immediately got a trash bag and hurried out to her car.  I'm thinking that Replicant Training 2.0 will probably have this important upgrade included.  We shall see.

So, now, you and I both know the truth.  The question becomes- What will we do about it?

Me?

I think I'll try to find my replicant remote and see if I can program it to run my DVD player as well.  Then, I think I'll see if Rachael wants to join me to watch The Stepford Wives or something.

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