Rachael and the Lost Ark

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This weekend, I had made plans to spend some time with a few great friends.  Kind of a guys-weekend-out sort of thing.

We all planned on meeting around lunch time to start the weekend right by catching lunch at a good restaurant.

I got up early in the morning to ensure that I could get everything done in time to leave by 8AM.  I looked outside to see what the day looked like.  Imagine my surprise when I saw 2 wild turkeys standing in my backyard, as if at attention.

Interesting, but not enough to sway me from my schedule.

I started packing. 

Everything was going great until I looked for underwear.  There was only one pair and, while tempting to try to make it work, that was not going to be enough for the whole weekend. 

Rachael told me that it would not be a problem because she knew there were a few pairs in the washer and she said she would put them in the dryer for me.

I figured I might have to live with packing a slightly damp pair of underwear, but I've lived through worse.  I waited to get the underwear out of the dryer until the last possible moment to give them as much time as possible to dry.

In the meantime, I began packing my truck.  I noticed 2 squirrels in the front yard, standing there staring at me.  Even when I walked close to them, they didn't scamper away.

Whatever.

I went back inside and into the laundry room and opened the door to the dryer.  Lot of blankets, lots of clothes.

No underwear. 

I looked again.

Still no underwear.

Now one of my short-comings is the unique ability to look directly at something and not see it.  I say unique, because if you happen to be female, it's fairly unique.  Unfortunately, for us guys, it seems to be fairly common.  If you are unsure of this fact, just ask any woman and she'll set you straight.

Recognizing my possible over-sight, I decided to take every single item out of the dryer, one piece at a time to be sure I did not over-look it.  There was no underwear.

I called Rachael.  She said she was sure there had been a pair of underwear in the dryer.  My friends and I had talked about the possibility of going kayaking so I was going to need at least two more pairs anyway.  I told Rachael I'd just go to Wal-Mart somewhere and pick some up.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time I've had to resort to buying new underwear or socks, due to a lack of clean garments.  In fact, I am certain if all the clothes were to ever be washed at one time, we'd have to buy 3 more dressers just to hold the clean clothes.

It was now a few minutes after 8AM.

I try to be very punctual.  As a matter of fact, some would even go so far as to say I am kind of a stickler about being punctual.  I was trying my best to just roll with it, but I was concerned I'd be putting my friends out if they had to wait on me to eat lunch.

I was just jalking down the hallway, ready to leave, when a sudden peace descended on me.  Jalking is when you're not quite walking, not quite jogging, but kind of stuck in the gear right between the two. 

Where was this feeling of peace coming from, you ask?

I knew you'd ask that.

It was the strangest thing.

While standing within the confines of the walls of my home, I heard the distinctly clear, soothing, and relaxing sounds of a waterfall.  Kind of like the sounds you are listening to right now.

I don't know about you, but I find the gentle sounds of water falling quite peaceful.

On the bank of a gently rolling stream.

Across the lake from a waterfall.

While rafting down a river.

I absolutely love God's creation and often stand in wonder while looking at it and listening to it.  However, I've made a discovery in life.

The sound of falling water is much more appreciated when it is outside.  Of your house.  Not when it's coming from the kitchen area.

I stopped my quick jalking, turned around and headed back towards the kitchen.  It was then I realized the sounds were coming from the laundry room.

I was afraid I knew what was going on.

Not necessarily because I'm particularly psychic, but because this was not the first time we have had a waterfall in the house. 

It was the 3rd time. 

While I am all for Rachael trying to stay calm, relaxed, and peaceful, I really do think I'm going to have to draw the line at any more indoor waterfalls.  Apparently, Rachael is in agreement and is planning on doing something to solve similar future problems.  What, I'm not sure.  But something.

I tried to strategically position the mounds of dirty clothes and blankets so as to help curtail the spread of the flood, but the damage had already been done- The water had stealthily crept into the kitchen, around the corner, and down the hall, wetting the carpet, pad, and underlayment as it went.  I am particularly thankful that I used to be a termite inspector so I really have a good grasp of the damage this can cause.  Especially after 3 large floods.  And probably a few smaller ones Rachael has conveniently forgotten to tell me about.

I finished all of this as quickly as I could.  I didn't do any more jalking.  I was now in full-on jogging mode.  I called Rachael to tell her about the situation, and ran out the door.  I almost stepped on a couple of lizards that seemed to be waiting for me on the front porch.  What's with all the animals?

I was, of course, late to my lunch.  By about 40 minutes.  Fortunately, I have good friends and they seemed to understand.  They'd even ordered my Diet Coke for me and it was waiting on the table when I walked in.

We had a great weekend and I returned home Sunday evening. 

To another relaxing sound.

The sound of a large fan blowing on the up-turned carpet, trying to dry it out.  Kind of fills the role of a modern-day ark I guess.  Only instead of keeping everything dry, it's drying it out after the fact.

When it's too late.

And for the 3rd time.

I finally realized why there were so many pairs of animals waiting outside my house.  They had not read God's promise to never flood the world again, and they were getting ready, just in case.

Gotta Do Something.  I wonder what it will be?

By the way, Rachael swears that she found the missing pair of underwear.  Oh yeah, and the animals?  That was the only part of the story that was not true.

-For Rachael's side of the story, be sure to click here.

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A Labor Of Love

Labor Day Weekend.

Everyone looks forward to it.  The 3 days off.  The resting.  The traveling.  The fun times with friends.

This Labor Day, our plans were to spend the weekend with some of our best friends.  We had planned on leaving Friday right after work. 

These plans had been in place for months.

It's important to realize that when you live Life With Rachael, plans are not necessarily made of concrete.  They consist more of fluid that runs through your fingers each time you try to grasp them.

My first sign of trouble was Thursday evening.  When I found out that Rachael had not yet made plans regarding who was going to feed our two dogs, Rhett and Scarlett, and our guinea pig, Sugar.  I also had been waiting on her to type up a letter for a hopeful loan modification.  I had typed mine up and sent it, but the bank was demanding one from Rachael as well.  I had reminded her several times and Friday was the deadline.

We'll suffice it to say that when we went to bed Thursday night, the letter had not progressed beyond a blank sheet of paper.

My next sign of trouble was when I could not reach Rachael on her cell phone.  On Friday, I tried to call her a few times during the day to see how she was coming along.  I was unable to reach her.  When I finally talked to her later that day, I asked her if she had heard my message.

"Ummm, no."

I could tell something was up.  I asked her about her cell phone.  She told me that she did not know where it was, but knew it had to be somewhere.  Now, I am not really an expert on these things, but I figured she had to be right.  The only other alternative was that it was nowhere, which hardly seemed possible, given the known laws of the universe.  That being said, I wasn't quite sure how that was going to help us.  The fact that the phone was somewhere did not seem to get us any closer to it's true location.  As I'm writing this Tuesday night, it has still not been found.

For those of you who may not know, this is the new cell phone that Rachael loves so much.

...............The one she got less than a month ago to replace the last one she lost.

Anyway, I know it's somewhere. 


You know how most of the financial advisors always tell you that the cell phone insurance is usually a waste of money?  That you should not spend the money on it, as you will most likely not ever need it?  That the plans charge so much money, it's just not worth it?

I'm thinking they have not yet had the immense pleasure of reading Life With Rachael or Rachael's blog, My Poor Husband.  If they would have, they'd probably have a Rachael Clause.  'We can not be responsible for wind, fire, hurricanes, or other acts of God or Rachael.  Forgetting, misplacing, poorly managing, or otherwise misappropriating your cell phone will not be the responsibility of this firm.  All other incidents of damage will be replaced and/or repaired at the sole discretion of the cell phone company, to whom you signed over your life when you signed the two-year contract.'

However, until the cell phone companies enact the Rachael clause, I am starting to think that Rachael is the one person this side of the Rocky Mountains that may actually benefit by having cell phone insurance.  Once the Rachael clause is enacted, I'm guessing that cell phone insurance rates may very well be cut in half.


Friday afternoon, I received a phone call from one of the friends we were going to be staying with.  He asked when I thought we'd be there.  I told him what I thought, but added the Rachael disclaimer, which basically compensates for the unexpected delays, slight setbacks, and the 1-3 trips back into the house to get some forgotten item.

When we finally were on the road, we began to realize that even though we'd had several extra trips back into the house, there were still a number of forgotten items.

1.  Rachael's Cell phone- Already mentioned.
2.  Rachael's Hair Dryer
3.  Someone to feed the pets.  This actually did not get accomplished until a little after 3 PM on Saturday.  Which was fortunate, considering they needed to be fed Saturday evening.
4.  Rachael's church clothes.
5.  Rachael's swim suit.
6.  Rachael's hairbrush.
7.  Rachael's shoes.
8.  Eyedrops and medicine in case the kids get sick.
9.  Rachael's makeup.

Now, if I didn't know Rachael as well as I do, I might listen to the argument that 'forgetting' could be a plan enacted to allow the purchasing of new shoes, swimsuits, hairbrushes, etc. 

I'm pretty sure that is not the case.

Rachael and I are a bit different in the planning department.  Recognizing that we were going to be leaving, I made sure to set things up to have a smooth and successful trip.  I filled the truck up with gas so we wouldn't have to worry about stopping.  I took some money out, so we wouldn't be caught unprepared.  I planned my time to allow for packing.  I counted out the exact number of pairs of socks I'd need.  I calculated the exact number of gallons of gas we were likely to burn.  OK, that last one is not true, but the rest is.

As you can probably guess by now, Rachael's plans are often a bit simpler.

1.  I'm here.
2.  Let's go.
3.  I forgot  ______________ (fill in the blank).
4.  Evaluate distance from home.  If closer than 10 miles, turn around.  If further, buy new once we get there, if possible.
5.  Put up with husband's irritation and/or anger.

As any married couple can tell you, opposites often attract.  And then marry.  And then drive each other crazy. 

But maybe, just maybe, through it all they can learn a little from each other and grow to be better people because of their mate.

I know that is true with Rachael and me.  She often does drive me crazy.  She forgets frequently.  She often allows distractions to interfere with her family and our plans.  Sometimes she seems to live in her zone more than in reality.

But, on the plus side, she tackles each new task with big, exciting plans.  When she's excited about something she'll talk about it with wide-eyed wonder.  Her eyes literally sparkle with enthusiasm.  She teaches me how to look at things through eyes that see more than just the facts. 

In a word, she supplies the missing parts to who I am.  I am hopeful I do the same for her. 

Now that's not to say that we aren't going to get on each other's nerves at times.  We will.  Like the next time we leave for a family trip.  Or she forgets her cell phone.  Or I get so stuck on the details of the plan that I can not share her considerable excitement.  Or I stifle her creativity.

But we will also be there for each other.  Will hopefully complete each other.  Will hopefully never close our eyes to what attracted us to each other in the first place.

The fact that we are so very different.

And that's OK.


Most of the time.

Now we just have to call to be sure her cell phone hasn't racked up 2500 minutes calling to Mexico in the past 5 days.



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