Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Over-Bearing Friend

Recently, Rachael brought up an interesting topic regarding how well a completely well-adjusted person would fare in the world today.

How would they handle The Over-Bearing Friend? 

You know who I'm talking about.  The friend of yours that is completely over-bearing in your relationship with them.  The one that never found a conversation they could not talk louder than.

Would a completely well-adjusted person allow the person to control every conversation, or would they be able to stop The Over-Bearing Friend in his tracks before every train of thought was de-railed?

I have had a few experiences with The Over-Bearing Friend.  I'm sure we all have.  In fact, we've all probably BEEN the over-bearing friend at times. 

If you have one of these friends, it might be fun to plan the following exercise.

1.  Write down a list of things The Over-Bearing Friend is good at or has accomplished.
2.  Begin talking about one of these topics.
3.  Guess before-hand how many seconds it will be before he is talking about his subject.  Without waiting for you to finish, of course.
4.  When he interrupts, do not quit talking like you normally do.
5.  Talk louder, matching him as he talks, volume increase by volume increase.
6.  Be sure you have planned enough to say so you do not have to quit talking due to a lack of material.
7.  Predict before-hand how loud you think you'll have to be talking to keep up with him.
8.  Plan a semi-public place to do this.  Somewhere that is not right beside other people, but close enough that they will hear you after you've raised the volume level three or four times.
9.  When you are both talking at the loudest you anticipate being able to maintain, quit talking completely.
10.  Sit in absolute silence and see how long it takes for The Over-Bearing Friend to cease screaming and lower his volume.  Meanwhile, sit back and enjoy the looks of the people watching your friend belt out his stories to you.

So, what do you think?  What is the correct way to handle a person that is over-bearing?  Has anyone had success in dealing with this without damaging the friendship?

2 comments:

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